Signature Drinks: Another Way To Brand Your Wedding!

Don’t underestimate the option of having a signature drink (or a few) at your wedding!  This is a great way to brand your wedding in a memorable way!  Martha Stewart posted many ideas for cocktails that would taste wonderful and leave a signature stamp on your big day.  Also, The Knot has an incredible index of signature cocktails!  Most consist of simply blending traditional drinks with a new spin.  Many combine a fruity flavor with a mint, basil or herb.

It’s a beautiful thing, because these drinks can be selected by what goes with your color scheme if you so choose, as many of them are just as great to look at.  From floating fruit to curled lemon zest, mint or basil leaves, celery (in a Watermelon Bloody Mary).  These signature drinks will be an unforgettable staple in your wedding.

I suggest you find concoctions that you and your groom love (since the day is about capturing your personalities and sharing).  The beautiful thing is, this isn’t like the food, where you have to worry about everyone liking your choice; because there will be other options for guests who aren’t interested in your novelty drinks.

This is also a wonderful idea for those who have an open bar, but don’t want to splurge on every drink option; it’s increasingly common to offer guests limited options.  Having unlimited beer, wine, and your signature cocktail is a great way to not skimp out but also save some of that moolah you’re trying to spread around your wedding budget.

Don’t feel excluded from this, those of you having an alcohol-free wedding.  There are plenty of virgin drinks you can put together.  Consider all your fruit juice options with fruit or herbal garnish, or even iced coffee mixtures!  You still have plenty of options.

Rules of Engagement: Engagement Party Etiquette!

You said yes, and now a celebration is on the horizon!  There are a few important notes of etiquette for your engagement party.  Don’t get worried, they’re not too meticulous!

The first one is pretty simple:  Have your engagement party soon after the engagement, when the exciting news is still fresh!  To try to announce your engagement at the party is quite a feat now, since social media pretty much has everything in our lives captured and spreading quickly; if you managed to keep it a secret to announce at the party, make sure you have a good excuse/reason for gathering everyone together.

It used to be that it was considered rude to invite anyone to a pre-wedding event that will not be invited to the wedding; but now that more people are doing smaller, intimate weddings or flying to a beach to exchange vows, it’s not necessarily the rule anymore.  If tradition is something you’re pursuing, make your engagement party a smaller affair to be safe (if you don’t already have your guest list hammered out.  If you do, invite accordingly.).  Since you will not be hosting this event, make sure you discuss this with the host/hostess.

Another important note is that an engagement party is not a gift-giving affair.  Your preferences for gift or registry should not be mentioned on the invitation, and any gifts that you do receive should be opened in private.  Inevitably there will be some who want to give gifts, so it is appropriate to make sure and tell your hostess where you are registered so they can relay the information asked.  Bottom line is that it’s not a time when gifts are to be expected, so including your registry in any way besides word of mouth might send the opposite message.  If it’s a small event, most people wouldn’t bring more than flowers, wine, or another hostess-style gift.

At a traditional engagement party hosted by the bride's parents, the etiquette for toasts is: First, the bride's father proposes a toast to the bride and her fiance. Then, the fiance toasts his bride-to-be and her parents, and then his own parents. At informal events hosted by friends, anyone can make a toast at any time. Certainly, the engaged couple will want to toast the host.

The last suggested bit of protocol would be that the bride and groom get a gift to thank the host of the party.  This is the beginning of the monumental process and is a memory you will treasure, so that in combination with the work that they put in to organize the celebration is something to show your gratitude for.  It doesn’t call for anything extravagant; the best kind of gift would be one that you know is a gift of interest to them (theater tickets, tickets to see their favorite team or concert, etc.).

That’s not so bad, right?  Enjoy your celebration!  Since you won’t be throwing this party, if you do have expectations or preferences, be sure to let your host know (don’t be a control freak, but if it’s related to the guest list, size, or even if you want a more simple/outdoor kind of thing, let them know).  This way you can sit back and enjoy the party and planning without any worries.

Wedding Gift Registry: Etiquette & Things to Consider!

The question is popped, and the “Yes” heard round the world (well, at least YOUR world) is official.  You’ll need to register STAT, because people are going to want to send you gifts; some want to as soon as they find out!

Before you pull the trigger on that scan-gun, you need to get organized.  A checklist for what you need to register, divided up by which room in your house or purpose, is best.  You can make your own, or find one on line.  TheKnot has an editable checklist online which is helpful to use, or you can view it as a template and create your own.  TheKnot also has real couples’ registries that you can view and get ideas.

There are many different styles of registries, based on different decorative tastes and priorities in mind.  Styles range from modern, traditional, elegant and eclectic; where functions can be focused on cooking, entertaining guests, or renovations.  You and your groom may even have different ideas in mind as to which of these categories you two will fall into.  The trick is to remember the home will be home to both of you, and divvy the registry and decor accordingly.

Don’t forget that going into the store and going crazy with a scanner is not your only option.  Doing your registry online is becoming more and more common, and has it’s advantages.  As much as you may want to go to the store in person and pick your patterns, etc., cyber-registry gives you the opportunity to pick items that match your patterns and schemes that may not be in stock at the store, not to mention being easier to keep track of as you choose your items.  Either way you register, you’re able to view and edit your registry online, so don’t hesitate.

Important Things To Take Into Consideration In Registering:

1.  Register At Places That Will Be Accessible To Your Guests.  As much as you love the  unique nature of your favorite home decor boutique in your town, it’s important that you register in stores that are accessible to even your out-of-town guests, and not exclusively by internet.  This is why Bed, Bath & Beyond, Target, and Macy’s have been such popular choices.  No one said that you could only choose one (as a matter of fact you should choose a few), so you can register at a few of those nation-wide places and then the boutique for your in-town guests who know it’s what you love most.  Register for appliances and all basic home needs with Pottery Barn or Crate & Barrel (or your other accessible stores), and then select your favorite decorative pieces from the boutique, then it’s win-win.

2.  Register For More Than You Think You Need.  You may feel it’s presumptuous, but most guests won’t be taking a tally of how many items you have on your registry or feel the pressure to make sure it’s all purchased; most guests are more likely to get frustrated if they can’t find something on the list that is something they would like to give you as a gift, and in their price range.  Sounds silly that they want to find something that is their taste to give as a gift, but everyone likes to give a gift they are proud of.  Make sure you give plenty of options so they can find something they are proud to present to you, which brings me to the next important thing to consider...

3.  Keep In Mind The Varying Budgets of Gift-Givers.  You will most likely have guests with all different kinds of budgets in mind for your wedding gifts, so it’s important to register accordingly. If you only register for a few gifts under $50 then they will feel pressured and guilty.  If one of those gifts is a $45 stainless steel set of measuring spoons, they will most likely feel silly giving that to you as your wedding gift, even though it costed the amount they had to spend for a gift.  Put plenty of low-cost items in your registry, just as many in the mid-range cost (usually $50-$150), and then be a little more sparing with the items that are over $150 or $200.  Yes, you can register for that flatscreen TV and hope someone will get it for you, but let those big-ticket-items be the exception, not the rule.

4.  Include Items That Represent You As A Couple.  Whether it’s all the necessities for a game night, or a tent for your outdoor excursions, DO IT.  Some websites allow you to register for your guests to pay for activities on your honeymoon.  This is becoming increasingly more common, and many people jump on the opportunity to contribute to great memories on your honeymoon, by purchasing your scuba-diving venture, candlelit dinner on the beach, etc.  Just make sure that this isn’t your exclusive registry, because many people still want to buy you a tangible gift for your home.

5.  Weigh Your Options.  This is your opportunity to get things that you maybe won’t be buying for yourself for a while.  Make sure you add the popular kitchen favorite, a food processor, which cuts significant amounts of prep time for the enthusiastic chef, and makes for less time in the kitchen for the less-enthused chef.  Other things to consider:  serving platters, the coffee connoisseurs’ grind and brew coffee machine, and even holiday decorations (they add up when you’re buying them for your household for the first time). 

Okay, so you’ve made your list, checked it twice (or many, many more times than that), and you’ve registered.  A few important notes to maintain proper etiquette when sharing your registries with guests:

-Don’t Over-Emphasize Your Registry- 

Yes, ideally, after you picked out all of the things you wanted in your house for your new life together, people would all purchase from that pool of gifts.  Some will honor your registry, and most will try to study/know your taste and stick to that.  A few will most likely get you things that they like, that are opposite your taste.  Some will get you a blender, not the one on your registry, but their favorite brand, and some will give you personal or religious gifts.  Be prepared for that.  What you shouldn’t do is request gifts from your registry only, or try to request monetary gifts only.

-Do Not Mention Your Registry On Wedding Stationery-

Neither on your invitation nor your save-the-date is it appropriate to mention your registries.  You should, however, list the URL for the wedding website on the save-the-date and even in the invitation package (if desired), and post the registry information on the wedding website.  It’s also perfectly acceptable to print it on the wedding/bridal shower invitation, and have friends and family pass the word along.

Post Wedding Tasks: Thank You Note Etiquette

Many brides put so much work into planning every detail of their dream wedding that they wear themselves out look forward to their big day as a liberation from the chaos.  “I do" feels more like “I’m done”.  Well, lovely brides, that is not at all the case.  Etiquette calls for only a 2-3 week window before you send out a thank you for every gift!

Photo Credit:  Mountainside Bride

It’s easy to forget about any work to be done when enjoying the freedom of the wedded-bliss-coma you experience after your nuptials.  The honeymoon is a dramatic change of events after the obsessive, hair pulling stress of planning your wedding, so it’s common to get lethargic in enjoying your life together as Mr & Mrs; but penning your gratefulness is a very important task, as it means much more than you think to most people.


I need your full attention for a moment, as we tread over some important territory:  Resist the urge to email or do anything other than handwriting and mailing your thank you notes!  You will be tempted, after a luxurious honeymoon with the looming thought of soon being thrusted back into reality, to not spend your free time handwriting your notes.   You could just type them, which would look nicer than your handwriting (not to mention that you type 80 words per minute, which would cut the time investment down to a fraction of the handwritten);  BUT, your scribed note feels so much more personal to your gift giver than a typed one.


Make sure that you mention the gift they gave you (even if it’s monetary), and tell them how you used it or plan to use it.  If they bought you the measuring spoons on your registry, let them know that you intend to put them to work baking goodies for your groom.  If it’s a monetary gift, let them know what you’ve bought with it (be it an item in your registry that no one purchased, or if you’re pooling it together with others to do the much-needed renovations in your kitchen--they will be glad to know.

It may seem like a daunting task, so work out a plan.   Do 5-10 a day until they’re knocked out, or grab yourself a drink, put on your favorite movie, and power through all of them.  As much as you’re procrastinating, the anxiousness you feel will be completely settled after you’ve sent them all off!  

Kaley Cuoco’s New Year’s Eve “Fire & Ice” Wedding!

28-year-old star of The Big Bang Theory married 26-year-old tennis player Ryan Sweeting at a ranch in Santa Susana, California on New Years Eve. Around 150 guests attended, including Cuoco's Big Bang co-star Johnny Galecki and Bachelorette alum & blogger Ali Fedotowsky. The bride confirmed the betrothal to her fans by sharing a sweet shot of she and her now husband on Instagram, with the caption,  "Yep :) #thesweetings”

Image:  Norman Cook/Instagram

Cuoco wore a custom-designed pink strapless tulle ball gown by Vera Wang. The dress featured a sweetheart neckline and detailed bodice, and was adorned with hand appliquéd Chantilly lace accents.  She accessorized it with a nude tulle veil with pink floating appliqués.  It’s a bold and fashion-forward choice, while still having a romantic sweetness.  People and Us Weekly report that she also wore a short red dress!  

Image: Norman Cook/Instagram

We can’t wait to see more photos of the Fire & Ice theme of her wedding and that red dress, but in the meantime, check out her upside-down chandelier cake by The Butter End Cakery!  It’s not the dream cake she mentioned to Craig Ferguson, which consisted of cake in the shape of her dogs’ heads, but we think it’s epic enough to suffice!  The wedding looks beautiful and we can’t wait to see more!

The couple got engaged after only three months of dating. "You know by day two I was like, 'Oh, my god.' It was so unbelievable," she told Ellen. "I said, 'This is it, this is it.’”

Image:  Norman Cook/Instagram

Image:  Norman Cook/Instagram

Congratulations to the Sweetings, ringing in 2014 as newlyweds!  

Making Cents of Your Wedding Dreams: Your Wedding Budget!

Photo from OneWed.com

Okay, he put a ring on it, and you now have the exciting task of assembling the wedding you’ve been dreaming about your whole life.  You’re tearing out magazine clippings (or saving them digitally via your wedding planning app), scrambling to find the perfect venue, the dress that you just know is the one, and line up the details.  BUT, there’s one very important thing that must be figured before you’re able to move forward… figuring out your budget.

The old tradition was that the cost of the wedding was the responsibility belonged to the father/family of the bride; but times are changing and now it is much more common for the cost to be divided between the families of the bride and groom, or even just the bride and groom themselves.  The topic of finances can be taboo in some families, so the best option is for you and your groom to meet with your parents and his parents separately and ask them how much they will be able to contribute.  It may not be your favorite conversation to have, but knowing what kind of budget you’re working with will enable you to get back to the fun aspects of planning!

The average wedding costs around 30 thousand dollars, so it’s very easy to rack up bills beyond what you can afford, or end up having to cut things out of the wedding.  The trick is, to prioritize the most important details in your wedding.  Pick the few items that you know you don’t want to compromise and are willing to splurge on, be it the photographer/videographer that you decided a long time ago would do your wedding, the amazing country club venue, or the caterer that you know is pricey but refuse to pass up.  It’s important to consider which costs you won’t budge on, so when it’s time to shave costs to meet your budget you don’t end up compromising on something you’ll always regret.

There are several things that greatly effect the cost of your wedding, but one of, if not THE biggest is the number of guests.  In most situations, you pay caterers per guest; not to mention that for a larger crowd you need a larger venue.  Being realistic about what your budget allows for goes a long way in ending up with a wedding you are pleased with.  Ask yourself whether you would rather have 300 guests and compromise on the quantity and quality of what you can provide for them, or narrow it down to 50-100 people and provide a the perfect caterer, open bar, etc.  It’s about recognizing what is more important to you and your groom, and not letting the illusion of the greener grass on the other side (which usually comes with unrealistic expectations) cause you to stray from the aspects of your big day that are important to you.

A few ways to cut costs when planning a wedding:

1.    1.  Pay Cash on your bigger wedding costs, if at all possible.  Many wedding vendors offer a   discount for those who pay cash upfront (average of 2%)

2.    2.  Book As Early As Possible!  You tend to get a better deal for booking far in advance than if you’re trying to fit into their schedule with late notice!

3.    3.  Tie the Knot in an off-season!  As we’ve discussed before, it can pay to have a wedding in the off-season.  If you avoid holidays and the spring and summer wedding season, you may get a good discount AND have a wedding date that isn’t surrounded on all sides by weddings of people you know! If you have your heart set on a spring wedding right in the middle of the buzzing season, consider a day other than Saturday for your nuptials.

4.   

4.   4.  Ask for help!  Whether it’s assembling those DIY invitations, or putting together out-of-town guest gift baskets you made yourself (instead of paying for ready-made ones), or tying bows onto wedding favors, there are plenty of people who would love to be included, and if you save money and time, it’s a definite win-win!

5.    5.  Shop Around!  Although many times you find something and just know that it’s what you want, it’s important to still look around.  Like we talked about, you gotta save the splurges for the things that are really important; and if you haven’t price shopped, you may not know you’re spending above average.  Research vendors and costs, because finding a discount in one department opens up more funds for other department.

We get it, it’s not the fun part!  Just don’t lose sight of what you’re working toward.  Your wedding is one of the only times, possible the only time, in your life that the most important people from both of your worlds will be in one place.  Not to mention that it’s for the day that you and your best friend make it official that you are doing the rest of your lives TOGETHER.  First comes budget talks, but then comes marriage!  

Choosing Your Bridesmaids: A Guide to Being a Supported Bride!

Photo from Di Candia Fashion

By definition a bridesmaid is one who attends to the bride at a wedding, or helps.  For us seasoned wedding goers, we know that the title carries many specific roles that aren’t necessary included, and aren’t often elaborated on.  So how do you choose your bridesmaids, and how do you get the experience you want, pre-wedding, without cracking a bridezilla whip and ordering their every detail to your liking?  There are many things to consider.

A few things to you should know:

1.  More Doesn’t Necessarily Mean Merrier.
When picking several bridesmaids, you have more people to consider every step of the way.  More people’s schedules to work with for events.  More people to check up on to make sure dresses are ordered.  Also, potentially the opportunity to have to mediate when different personalities have different ideas and plans for your pre-wedding festivities, bridesmaid dresses, etc.  It’s not going to ruin your wedding to have an uneven number of bridesmaids and groomsmen (it’s become increasingly more common, actually), so don’t feel pressured to pick anyone out of guilt or pick anyone that you don’t really want to share that day with just to balance our your groom’s football team of groomsmen.

2.  Bridesmaids Are Helpers.
It’s important to pick people that you love and that you can imagine being in your life for the long haul.  With that being said, it’s important to pick people that you know will assist you and not take away from the experience.  Let’s be real here, some friends are givers and some are takers.  As much as you love her, your diva-of-a-coworker having her feelings hurt that you didn’t ask her to join is not a good enough reason to include her, allowing her to make the best season of your life about herself.  Ideally, we’d like to assume that everyone would know that a bride’s wedding is the one thing that no one should sabotage; but the truth of the matter is, there are many opportunities for an unruly bridesmaid to disappoint you, from lack of interest and participation in showers and events to tantrums about the dress that looks amazing on her but isn’t working for everyone else, and to the one who fails to recognize that you’re paying for an entire wedding and still drops hints that your wedding is a financial burden to HER.  Consider the personality types of those you pick.

3.  Pick At Least One Seasoned Bridesmaid.
The first-time bridesmaid, in most cases, doesn’t know the extent of their role.  They don’t know that aside from the specific duties, there is much more they can do to contribute to the time of your engagement and wedding planning.  As willing as they may be, they may not know to research the duties and expectations and traditions that make that time so memorable.  If at all possible (if there is anyone that close that you would consider), select someone who has been a bridesmaid, a maid of honor, or even a bride before.  Not because the inexperienced care for you less, but because someone who has been through the process knows what a difference it makes to have a supportive team around you.  This one experienced person in the mix can throw out suggestions spurring ideas for the others, and indirectly teach the others how to be a helpful and contributing member of the wedding party!

4.  Pick Someone Who Knows You.
Someone who knows your taste in decor, and someone who knows your personality and perspective.  In some situations, a bridesmaid becomes a buffer.  Whether it’s distracting your crazy friend from trying to make a toast by asking them to dance, or trying to round out a situation where no one agrees on a bridesmaid dress, you’re gonna need an advocate who you can  trust... one that won’t let you be the bad guy.  Conflict can quickly turn a blessed event into chaos, so have a peacemaker in your corner, able to deflect in a moment’s time.

5.  Be Straight Forward With Your Bridesmaids.
Let them know that you’re hoping that they become friends (if they aren’t already), or that you hope that they can set aside any differences they have and work together and be happy for you.  Let them know that you want memories with them through the process, not just memories with your groom, and that, to you, it’s a big deal to have them in your wedding.  They’re not there as a formality but because they mean a lot to you.  On a practical note, let them know exactly what you DON’T want (strippers at the bachelorette party, an all inclusive lingerie shower-so you can avoid your grandmother watching you unwrap wedding-night accessories).  You may not want to be a control freak, but it’s much more light-hearted to let them know ahead of time than to end up resenting them or end up in a meltdown later on because nothing went your way.  LET THEM KNOW.  They love you and will want to do things in a way that makes you happy!

Being a bridesmaid is so much more than just standing with you on your wedding day.  It’s a big and important job.  Make sure you choose the people who will be considerate of you and the others, and add to the experience for you.