The Awkward Decision: No Kids or Pro-Kids at your Wedding!

So, you’re in the heartfelt moment of giving your vows, which you wrote personally for each other.  Tears are forming as you listen to your groom promise to always protect you and love you and only you for the rest of his life, when a loud scream emerges from the mouth of your two-year-old nephew (who is crying because he just ran out of the fruit snacks mommy snuck in her purse to keep him quiet).  That moment is the fear of many brides, and the reality of many weddings.

If you are a laid back bride, maybe you would just chock this up to kids just “being kids” and wouldn’t be bothered by it.  Maybe you feel like it would contribute to the sweet memories of the day. 

However, you don’t have to be a bridezilla to be someone that is in the awkward situation of taking precautions to avoid this.  Unfortunately, you don’t have a ton of options.  You can either invite kids or you can not invite kids; but you can’t pick and choose.  It’s bad etiquette and might make some relationships awkward if you make the rule that children aren’t allowed, and then select some of the kids you have deemed to be better behaved that are permitted to come.  In this sticky situation, it’s all or nothing.

Many brides are torn on this issue because they don’t really want kids there, but they don’t want to hurt feelings; or they are torn because they want their favorite niece there, but not other kids.  Who can blame you?  It would be much easier to forgive your god-daughter than the daughter of the boyfriend of your third cousin twice removed for an unexpected outburst!  Some brides feel guilty about out-of-town guests who may not have an option for their kids.  An option that you may have here is to arrange a group child-care option for your “I do” day.  Even if it’s only for the ceremony and then you have children at the reception, you’ll have your interruption-free ceremony and the presence of your favorite kids at the reception.  It may take some preparation on your part, but it could be well worth it to show the families you love that you’re considering them too.  It’s not a must, by any means, but is a very thoughtful accommodation to make.

Plenty of brides know exactly where they stand on this issue, and whether pro-kids or no-kids, you’re confident in your decision.  For the rest of you, just think about what you really want and make your decision accordingly!