To Trim or Not To Trim: Solving Your Guest List Dilemmas!

One of the more daunting tasks in planning your big day is collaborating with your husband-to-be and compiling a list of candidates to make the cut of wedding guests; and then, together, narrowing the list.  This can be touchy, because you know your mother will be mortified if your third cousin twice removed and her new husband (and his kids) aren’t invited; and your fiancé has made up his mind that his college football team should all be on the wedding guest roster.

Photo from Vivid Blue Photography

From invitations to wedding and reception venues and catering, the size of the guest list largely affects the cost of your wedding.  Whether it is that you know that a smaller wedding is what your budget allows, or you desire a more intimate environment with 50 guests, it’s hard to deal with the idea of hurting the feelings of so many people you love by leaving them out of your wedding day.  

If you’re having a big wedding, what is your reason for keeping so many guests?  If you’re going to have to sell your plasma to pay your catering bill, it better be because you’ve dreamt of the crowd, not because you would feel guilty leaving anyone out.

Another option, if you can’t decide, is to have your big wedding, and invite a much smaller number of people to your reception.  There may still be some hurt feelings, but everyone will get to see you and your groom exchange vows; and you get the intimate reception with a significantly smaller catering bill and a group small enough you won’t be swallowed by it.  This infographic from the Knot presents a great thought process:

If you do have a small wedding, maybe you could send out a wedding announcement to those who would have been invited if it were larger... one that looks similar to the invitation and just lets those you love know that they weren’t forgotten!


Your big day is just that, YOUR big day.  You share it with the people you want to, and will treasure the memories forever.  Consider who exactly it is you want to share the memories with, on that day, and make your decision accordingly!

  

Ain’t No Party Like a Wedding Party, ‘Cause a Wedding Party Don’t Stop!

 As we’ve said before, hospitality is one of the most memorable things in a well-planned wedding!  One great form of hospitality for out-of-town guests and the wedding party is giving plenty of opportunities for meet and greet.  Weddings can be potentially awkward for people you’ve known forever separate from your social circle.  Be it that long-lost junior high best friend that came all the way to share in your special time, or the estranged aunt that divorced your uncle but came to support you, it’s nice to give your guests opportunities to do a little mingling and get acquainted with a few people before the wedding day, and maybe to hang out with in between wedding week events.

If you’re doing a summer wedding, a pool party or barbecue is a great addition to the traditional bachelorette/bachelor parties, and rehearsal dinner.  No pressure, no agenda besides to have a good time with the people who love you.  If it’s fall, try a bonfire.  If it’s spring, try a barbecue at a park.  If none of those are appealing, have it at someone’s house.  The beauty of an event like this is you won’t have to plan it.  There are almost always people in your family or close circle of friends waiting to host something like this for your wedding week. 

My favorite wedding week memory (besides the actual wedding, of course) is a brunch that a lifelong friend and her mother hosted for me at their house.  She made some fancy French toast and served a nice meal, also had some homemade mini-tarts that looked and tasted amazing!  It was for female out-of-town guests and my bridesmaids.  They went around the room, one-by-one, as the hostess requested, and explained to everyone how we met and how we became so close.  It was the most touching moment of my wedding week; the moment that, given the chance to not be in charge and not have to be concerned about any details, I was able to slow down and take in the love of the people who had traveled across the country and stopped plans just to celebrate an exciting time in my life. 

You don’t have to go around the room and make everyone answer questions; but even just having everyone together with no other reason than to have fun will warm your heart and give your guests an opportunity to get comfortable with one another, since they can’t exactly hang out with you all week.  It’s also a great opportunity to thank everyone who means the most to you for putting time aside and traveling to be with you at such a special time, let individuals know (publicly or privately) how special they are to you, and even to give out your wedding party gifts.

Try a meet and greet fun event the night everyone flies in, bachelorette/bachelor parties the following evening, a spa day for bridesmaid and any out-of-towners who’d like to join, and then of course the rehearsal dinner… all leading up to the wedding day!  Include their wedding week itinerary (with dates, times, location/maps, and attire for each event) in the gift bag/basket waiting in their hotel rooms, or even add to the magic of your week by creating a faux newspaper circled around you, as a couple, and the events of your week!  

Let IntriCutz work with you to create the stationery and invitations for your wedding week events; your plans and ideas in addition to our resources will make a beautiful package to present your guests with, to organize the agenda for your week.

Hospitality to Remember: Out Of Town Guest Gift Bag Ideas!

Weddings are becoming increasingly hospitable for out-of-towners these days; and one way that more brides are welcoming them is with a custom gift basket waiting in their hotel room when they arrive.

The gift baskets don’t have to feature a Rolex or diamonds to be memorable; adding personality and thoughtfulness goes a long way.  Make it personal by ordering customized tote bags or gift bags with a note or picture from you on them, or your names and the wedding date.  Your name, and thoughtful things they might want to help stay hydrated, feed their cravings... things you might want to relax with after traveling.

If you want to include lots of tailor-made treats, include a coffee cup with your monogram, a picture of you and your soon-to-be groom, an official (custom) wedding t-shirt, water bottles with custom labels.  The more personal and unique to your wedding, the more memorable the package will be.  There’s no need for luxury out of your price range!

 above image from newlywish.com

above image from Martha Stewart Weddings

Another great way to make it personal, if you’re not really the type to stamp your monogram on everything, is to carry a theme throughout the bag that matches the theme of your wedding, like the above bag for traveling guests at a beach wedding.  They included a beach towel, sunscreen, and a post card in a cute beachy tote.  Not doing a beach wedding?  Include gourmet foods local to the area you’re in, or seasonal treats.  Anything thoughtful will make an impression.

Also, include a note to welcome everyone (hand-written is ideal, typed only if you absolutely don’t have time).  A list of other out-of-town guests with contact information makes things convenient; include lists of close restaurants, tourist attractions, and shopping; or even an “entertainment guide” for tourists in your area.

Otherwise, you may include toiletry items they may have forgotten (toothbrushes, sunscreen, or aspirin), a local newspaper or entertainment guide, and a schedule with details of wedding week events (maps to get there, attire to be worn, any themes of these events, and of course the time they’re starting and who to contact if they have any more questions about the event).  Also, you may consider including a separate basket or bag for any children of out-of-town guests, including little toys (yoyo’s, coloring books, crayons), cookies or some candy, etc.

Since custom is kind of our thing at IntriCutz, there are plenty of possibilities of how we could contribute to your welcome bags or baskets.  We could make your custom note cards to your out-of-town guests from yourself-we could even scan a hand-written note from you and put in all notecards, if you don’t see yourself finding time to write each one!  OR we could make custom tags for the baskets/bags with the guests name engraved, or your monogram, laser-cut!

Blended Seating!

Seating at wedding ceremonies can be tricky, when done traditionally.  If the groom and bride aren’t from the same place and the wedding is in the hometown of the bride, her side will tend to be a lot more full than his.  For example, my husband and I.  He’s from Brooklyn, New York, I’m from Springfield, Missouri, and we met in school in Memphis, Tennessee.  No matter where we had our wedding, it was going to be hard for lots of people we loved to get there.

Well, thankfully one of the traditions that has fallen to the way-side is the one where seating is according to the bride’s side and groom’s side.  Mixing up the friends and family of the bride and groom not only keeps you from running into the awkward imbalanced proportions, but it also blends everyone.  I love this idea because it is an even-greater representation of two becoming one, and the merging of family and circles of friends.

Wisdom of Experience

This is a really cute and meaningful alternative to the traditional guest book:  A bible in which your guests sign their name and underline, circle, or write a note next to a verse that helped or encouraged them in their marriage.  A really great way to have the wisdom of others’ experience serve you in your marriage.  This is another thing to mention in your thank you notes if you’re one who has a hard time finding the words for everyone.  Love, love, love this idea for any Christian couple getting married.